<<Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.>> – The Odd Life of Timothy Green

<<What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.>> – Bob’s Burgers

<<What kind of bees make milk? Boobees.>> – Bob’s Burgers

<<What do you call a Spanish guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.>> – Bob’s Burgers

<<I guess I am a hunter, and it’s „you” season.>> – Parks and Recreation

<<So a woman walks into the kitchen, finds her husband walking around with this huge swatter. „What are you doing?” she asks. „Hunting flies,” he tells her. „You get any?” she replies. „Yep, three males, two females.” „How can you tell?” „Well,” he says, „three were on the beer can, and two were on the phone!”>> – Fly Me to the Moon

<<One time this pirate walks into a bar. He’s got the ship steering wheel attached to the crautch of his pants. The bartender says: hey, pirate, you got a steering wheel coming out of your pants. The pirate nods and says: arrrgh, it’s driving me nuts!>> – My Name is Earl

<<Marge, girl I heard your pants ain’t hiring because your butt won’t quit.>> – The Simpsons

<<The other day, I ran into an Irishman. Oh, really? No, O’Reilly.>> – The Simpsons

<<knock knock! / who’s there? / orange / orange who? / orange you glad I didn’t say banana?>>
<<are you jamaican? / why? / ‘cause jamaican me crazy.>> – The Simpsons

<<My girlfriend is a real pain in the neck. She crashed her car into mine and said: look, honey, we have a hybrid!>> – The Simpsons

<<What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? Nacho-cheese.>> – Half Nelson

<<Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food, no atmosphere.>> – The New Adventures of Old Christine

<<What do you have when your mother-in-law is up to her neck in concrete? Not enough concrete.>> – The New Adventures of Old Christine

<<What do you have when your mother-in-law is up to her neck in quick-sand? A sand that’s not quick enough.>> – The New Adventures of Old Christine

<<A lion is screwing a zebra. And all of a sudden over the hill walks another zebra. And the zebra turns to the lion and says: that is my wife, pretend like you’re killing me.>> – Ricky Gervais Meets… Garry Shandling

<<So a man goes to a bar and asks the bartender „What’s a good drink?” The bartender says „A grasshopper,” so the guy orders a grasshopper. Later, he’s walking home from the bar and he sees a grasshopper on the side of the road. He goes up to the grasshopper and says „You know there’s a drink named after you?” The grasshopper says „You mean there’s a drink named Irving?”>> – Family Guy

<<Girls love puppies. They’re like heroin with fur!>> – The Last Word

<< – There’s these, uh, three guys, uh… a-a-a-a spic, a-a-a-a white guy and a black guy.
– Nigger.
Yeah, n-n- Yeah. And-and they walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, „You wish for anything you want.” So, he asks, uh-uh, Mexican what-what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, „I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico.” And so, genie – Poof! And, all the spics are in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy…
Yeah, that’s what I said. Goes to the, uh- uh, nigger, says, uh, „What do you want?” And he goes, um, uh, „I want all my African- my nigger brothers in America to be back in Africa and-and happy and everything.” You know? So, genie goes poof! And, um, all the niggers in America are in Africa. And, uh, uh, uh, this is go- I’m not funny today. I-I know. I’m havin’ a hard day. I-I-I- This joke sucks. It’s-it’s-it’s a stupid joke.
Continue the joke.
– So the genie says to the white guy, uh, um, „What’s your one wish?” And the white guy goes, „You mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?” Genie goes, „Yeah.” He says, „Well, um, I’ll have a Coke, then.”
>> – The Boondock Saints


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